Day 29

Occurred March 7, 2009

Today's favor was about introspection. I received a request to look inside myself one more time in relation to my pending decision regarding closing my Pilates studio either to pursue a doctorate or to work as a Pilates instructor at another studio. The request unfolded in a most curious way, one in which I felt as though I was inside of some pseudo alternate reality, a "Wonderland" of sorts.

The day began with me meeting a tutor at a local coffee shop to practice for the upcoming Graduate Record Exam (GRE) test two weeks away. As I worked on several sets of practice problems, I could not help but notice a man next to me was noticing me. Upon the conclusion of the tutoring session and my tutor's prompt exit, the man leaned over towards me and asked what I was doing. Taken aback by the directness of his question, I quickly responded, "I'm studying for the GRE." He then asked why I was studying for the GRE. I told him I was considering applying for graduate school. Then he asked what I was doing now. "Not much other than studying these days," I blurted, adding, "I used to have my own business teaching Pilates, well technically I still do, but I think now that economy tanked, it's done. I'm giving myself options."

He continued pressing me for more information about my business. I stopped answering long eough to pose a question to him, "Does your shoulder hurt? It seems as though you don't want to use your right arm, like it causes you pain to use it. Am I wrong?" He paused for a moment and then looked me in the eyes saying, "Wow! Yes, it does hurt. You are very good at what you do I'd imagine. Are you sure the business is done? Have you tried everything to make it work?" His words echoed in my mind..."Had I tried everything to make it work?" Well, I had tried everything I thought that could work, but admitted I might be missing something. "Maybe you just need to look inside yourself one more time, maybe that is all you need to do," he concluded with a calm and steady voice. What happened next still puzzles me, all of a sudden it was though I awoke from a deep slumber. I felt a rush of energy and packed-up my belongings and told my new acquaintance, "I need to go; there is much to do. Thank you so much." He handed me a slip of paper with his mobile number and I gave him mine too. He said he would call me if he thought of any ideas on how to make the business work. Before leaving I scribbled down this blog's web address and told him if he really wanted to know me, he should read that.

About an hour passed after I left the coffee shop and my phone indicated I had a new text message. As I read it, tears came to my eyes, it said, "Ha, Ha! Looks like you got a favor done to you. :)" Just as Alice was reminded to look inside the Looking Glass to see what actually was (her asleep and not in the throes of chaotic Wonderland) I too saw what really was: my business was not done; I just needed to be willing to walk-away from it in order to realize how much it meant to me and to be fully "awake" regarding its potential for greatness and wonder.