Day 4

Today's favor is about gratitude. I received a request from a woman who asked me to please help her find a way to send flowers to her husband for Valentine's Day. She said he is an incredible father and husband and that due to recent economic events she did not have enough money to send him even a small surprise. What I heard in her request was the desire to show thankfulness. This wonderful couple goes out of their way to help their neighbors and friends and family. An example is having their senior previous-neighbor over for dinner frequently since she recently lost her home to foreclosure. After speaking to several people about the kindness demonstrated by the couple, one private donor offered to fund the flower delivery. Delivery is scheduled for this Friday, February 13 and I will post pictures and feedback from the favor recipient as soon as I receive them.

Good things do happen to good people when we remember kindness given is kindness received

Day 3

Today's favor touched me deeply. A young woman suffers from leukemia and a brain tumor and is currently undergoing radiation treatment. The prognosis from her doctors is anything but positive and time is of the essence regarding any sort of outreach to her.

Friends of the family started an email campaign to request greeting cards for the patient during her hospital-stay from friends, family and even complete strangers. I received a Favor request from one of the friends to send a get-well card to this brave teenager.

As I perused the aisle of greeting cards in the drugstore I discovered there were very few "get-well" cards that did not carry the guaranteed sentiment of "I know you will fully recover." This girl knows her health is failing...who am I to offer her a promise that may not deliver? She may recover and she may not. Something told me I needed to find card that offered her encouragement and compassion and that also told her I believed in her ability to handle anything she may encounter during her battle with these afflictions. Locating the perfect card took about 10 minutes. I'm attaching photo of the finished product and will be happy to pass along her full contact information for anyone wishing to send her positive thoughts and kind words.

Completing this favor made me face the issue of mortality and was especially difficult in light of the patient's age. So many things within this world leave us scratching our heads in disbelief and confusion. Loss of life is no different. Perhaps the best approach to explore a complex issue is the simplest. I lost a close friend to leukemia when he was only ten years old. Right before he left this world, he left me with this simply profound answer to the question of why it was his time to die: "We are all like library books. Some of us get checked out and renewed over and over again and others of us are returned to the library we came from after only a very short time." Apparently, he had read that analogy in an inspirational book during his hospital stay and the idea offered him much comfort. In retrospect, I share the notion that we are all books; all filled with seeming unique pages and stories to tell and yet we all return to the library eventually. We need to remember our underlying commonality when faced with perceived divisive differences. A shift in perception yields our way back to one another and to remembering the peace within each of us.

Day 2

Today's favors varied by zipcode and specific requests. However, the underlying content was the same: kindness.

The day started out in Los Feliz with me meeting with a devoted physician who wants to forward information about the 32 Favors to some of his disadvantaged patients. These individuals need assistance navigating the system in order to receive the level of care needed to thrive. He and I brainstormed ways to facilitate connecting patients with available resources which can appear quite limited to those without the benefits provided by health insurance. His passion for his patients inspired me to look at additional ways to promote this idea with an even greater fervor than yesterday. 32 Favors is bigger than just me wanting to be helpful in a small way; it is about all of us as a global community coming together to offer a hand to those struggling; it is about us seeing others as a part of us and knowing we are not separate; if one suffers, our global community suffers. Likewise, if one thrives, we all thrive. I left the meeting with the physician filled with hope and determination to reach out to anyone in need.

My next stop was Santa Monica. A woman requested I come and help her organize her closet. This seemed like a simple Favor and one I gladly agreed to since I have personal experience that de-cluttering a closet can be the perfect catalyst for clearing one's thoughts. On my way over to her apartment I called to confirm our meeting time. During our brief conversation I mentioned having a masters in psychology and a background in life coaching. She seemed elated at hearing this and asked if we could just talk instead of work on the closet. I told her it's her favor and that we can spend the time however it is most helpful to her.

I arrived at her apartment and was met with a warm embrace and smile. She seemed delighted to have me there and I felt honored to be asked to come and help her in some way. Within a short period of time we were deep in conversation and I was struck by how kind of a woman she was and how it did not seem that she saw her real value. We chatted for several hours, during which we explored some of her past romantic relationships and also discussed some of her current dating prospects. She told me painful stories from her childhood and we delved into ways her past was affecting her present. Again, I was blown away with her poise and genuine caring nature and wondered why she did not seem to recognize all of the amazing qualities she offered any potential suitor. Time and time again with both men and women as Pilates clients and previously with life coaching clients I witnessed the same thing: issues of feeling discounted by loved ones in childhood manifesting into a general lack of self worth and esteem as adults. She kept thanking me for listening and for offering constructive feedback and all I kept saying in my mind was, "I hope she knows she is worthy of this kindness." When I left her place, all I could think about was how important it is in life to learn to accept kindness from others. So often we discount what is said in a seeming attempt to be modest. However, I wonder if the actual motivation is that we do not believe we deserve kindness unless we have suffered first. How amazing would it be to experience kindness without needing to have endured pain?

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings! Stay tuned for the next day of Favors...

Favor 1: For my Grandma

For the first Favor, my grandmother requested I post this photo of me taken in Hawaii. It captures one of the happiest days and experiences of my life. I think her hope was to remind me of that happiness and to encourage me to revisit the feelings of joy, excitement and wonder. Out of a lottery of hotel guests I was chosen to join a group of other guests to have a dolphin experience which meant I was allowed to swim with and hold a baby dolphin named Malia. Never being the biggest fan of water, I hesitated before dipping my toe in, but upon seeing little Malia, all the trepidation vanished and I let go and dove in. The facilitators of the program taught us how to have Malia jump up and grab floating rings out our hands. It was an experience beyond words and could only be topped be me being allowed to cradle and hold the baby dolphin in my arms on the edge of the lagoon. Thank you grandma for asking me to do this as the first favor. Hopefully this photo will bring a smile to others and remind all of us we are most connected when we are the most free.

I will post grandma's feedback soon.

Asking for Help

It occurred to me early this morning as I lay half-awake next to my MacBook continuously refreshing my empty email Inbox that I may have overlooked a crucial flaw in human psychology: the belief that asking for help equates with weakness. I received many encouraging responses to the 32 Favors project, but very few actual requests. Why is it that we believe it is an indication of lack rather than greatness of our character if we ask for a helping hand? During this tough economy we can all use a lift, even of the smallest kind and this is the main purpose behind my idea for the Favors. While pondering this notion, I decided to call a friend and share the idea with her. She was thrilled with it and together we brainstormed ways to make the favor-asking easier for people and to build the momentum of goodwill by having each favor recipient suggest a new recipient for me to help and hopefully create a chain of goodness. She then listed out three people she wants to add to my list. After hanging-up with her, I posted an ad on craigslist detailing the 32 Favors idea under the barter section and soon found my Inbox filling up with requests. It is hard to believe that only a few hours earlier I sat staring at an empty screen and now find myself reading through messages of praise, encouragement and specific requests. The common response has been: "This is the most positive thing I have heard of in a long time. I'm forwarding it to all of my family and friends!" Only time will tell how many will be touched by these Favors. Stay tuned for updates and keep the requests coming!

32 Favors in 32 Days

It just occurred to me how I may be able to start in a small way to help the global community!
Right now due to the economy I have a huge asset not being realized: my time! I propose to do one favor per day for any interested party for the next 32 days. Why 32? Its one more day than the longest number of days in a month. Anyone can get him or herself out of the way for a month. This is my chance to give back. So, what are you waiting for? Send me an email to 32favors@gmail.com with a favor you need done. Just include your name, the favor to be done and the person receiving the favor (if known).

Once the favor is done, I will ask the recipient to send me to someone new that they would like to have a favor done for. Hopefully, this will have a domino effect! It can be as simple as helping to look-up something on Google or as complex as deciding on the perfect outfit for a first date or to help you help another friend or stranger. Ask me to volunteer with your favorite charity, to buy a stranger coffee, to help plan your meals for the week...The only limit is your imagination.

My only requests are the following: please be concise in your request; please only ask for positive, family-friendly favors (no R-rated requests or content); please be willing to have the request be public (your name will not be used) and lastly please try and keep the request feasible based on my current situation (I live in LA, I am on a budget). Anything else goes! Oh and one last thing, please be willing to write a short email about your experience of having your favor done for me to share on this blog (again your name will not be used unless you choose to do so)

Today is Friday and for the next 32 days, I'm your Girl Friday. I will post photos and stories about each favor. Ideally, I want to touch the lives of at least 32 people, but lets not stop there...forward this to friends, colleagues, etc and lets start a collective collaboration of goodwill.

There Must Be a Better Way

OK, so how does one get to the "better?" It starts with acknowledging the current approach is not working. For me, that became very evident right before the holidays at the end of 2008. Even though I work as a rehab Pilates instructor, I realized my own body, mind and spirit were not integrated. How can I teach others to do what I have been unable to do so far? It is said that you teach best what you most need to learn and I had been exploiting that premise and thought that as long as I was helping others, everything else would fall into place. However, by neglecting my "self" I was not practicing the skills I told my students were essential to live a balanced life. I became so consumed with wanting to work that I skipped meals, did not partake in cardio exercise, slept little and stressed over everything. All I wanted was to be the perfect teacher and to do my best with my business. A health scare was just the wake-up I needed to reinvest in my overall health and wellbeing. Luckily everything turned out OK, but the prospect of mortality coupled with helpful feedback from friends and family inspired me to change. I began with small steps: breakfast every day, a short hike or jog every other day. I have always been thin but was horrified to realize how weak I was in terms of cardio fitness. Over the course of one month, I saw amazing results. I had more energy, was less pale, felt stronger overall and found it much easier to think clearly. I began to crave my daily cardio fix and fell in love with hiking.

Hiking is a way for me to unwind and focus at the same time. My favorite spot is Runyon Canyon in Los Angeles and there is this one particular rock I seek out each time I crest the top of the trail. This has become my rock. It is a place to think and dream and a place to just listen. The past few weeks have been nothing short of a roller-coaster and so I found myself alone with my rock frequently. Looking down on the city below helped me to get myself out of the way of my current circumstances and to be open to any opportunity presenting itself. The idea that keeps coming back into my mind is to write and to encourage others to write as well. Maybe through collaborating we can all share an epiphany of a greater consciousness and peace.