Day 10

Today's favor once again revisited the concept of forgiveness. I received a request asking me to forgive someone from my past for a real or perceived wrong against me. At first I really struggled with this favor. As I took inventory of the numerous past trespasses others committed against me it seemed impossible to deem one grievance as having a greater negative effect and therefore in greater need of forgiveness than another. I continued to wrestle with executing this favor and was no closer to an answer by the time my support group meeting began tonight. Group members shared personal stories of hardship, struggle and accomplishment. One speaker mentioned how she felt overwhelmed with the chaos within her family. She resented and loved them for their struggles simultaneously. Faced with losing her peace of mind over the uncontrollable situations she found comfort in the familiar verse: "Row, row, row YOUR boat gently down the stream..." She had no influence over another's actions and choices but did have the power to decide how to let these actions affect her peace. She needed to release her expectations on others to make it OK for her and to focus on working on her side of the street and not judging others.

Almost instantly I knew how to accomplish this favor request. I could not forgive just one person from my past for one perceived or actual wrong; I needed to forgive everyone and that included myself. It is said that for those who would not forgive, they keep forgiveness from themselves. If we are all connected, then I cannot selectively forgive on a content level. I may choose to on a level of form but in terms of content, the deeper unity that binds all of us, I must practice and demonstrate forgiveness by not judging others or myself. This does not mean to ignore differences; it merely necessitates not giving away one's peace of mind because of the perception of them.