Day 9

Today's favor was about facing fear. Often in life we create and form beliefs based on opinions rather than facts. One example of this was the belief held by me that yoga would not be helpful to me because I already taught Pilates. It's odd to admit and reflect upon now, but I believed I needed to shelter myself from yoga's influence because it might have some adverse affect on my Pilates practice or that it might distract me from being Pilates-focused. Reading these words even as I type them, this fear seems irrational and even slightly comical, but for some unconscious reason, I held this belief.

On an even deeper level, I can now see I avoided yoga for fear of failing at it. I deflected this fear by discounting yoga in my mind and turning down numerous invites to attend classes over the past few years. It was not until I received a favor request asking me for help finding the best yoga studios in the Hollywood area that I discovered the actual root to my yoga aversion. Once I realized I passed on classes because I thought I might not do well and was worried with how others would perceive my shortcomings in light of being a Pilates instructor, I decided to make a shift. I told myself that for any decision I made to do or not to do something, the deciding factor could not be fear-based. If it was that I genuinely did not agree with something or had a belief against it, then it is OK not to do it. However, if fear is the basis for my choice not to participate, I vowed to do it anyway and take my fear along with me. This remind me of some sage words told to me by a Pilates client when I asked her what I should do next. She responded, "Jump, and your soul will catch you!"

In the process of researching yoga studios I had to once again get myself out of the way and be open to asking questions and allowing new information into my mind. I called several studios, asked a couple of devoted yogi friends and then shut-up and just listened. I heard the passion behind their words and their belief in yoga echoed in my ears for the first time without fear or threat to my own belief in the practice of Pilates. I plan to attend my first class with a friend later this week and will keep you posted on the experience.

As I related the top yoga studios to the favor recipient I felt at ease with myself and knew I had made a major shift in my overall human experience by making the most minor of shifts in perception. The goal is not to deny fear but rather to look upon it without judgement and then to release the need of it.