Day 22

Today's favor was about family. I received a request from my mother to help her with tension in her low back and shoulder. For the past few months she has literally been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. All of her willingness to bear these burdens took its toll on her body.

The real significance of this request was the fact it was made by my mother. She rarely asks anything for herself and always is the first to lend a helping hand to anyone in need. My mother demonstrated to me that it is possible to love someone and yet not love their actions. She showed me family is not just biological; it means being there for one another, accepting each other without exception and it means being willing to start over again and again with one another. When all of these elements are present, you are in the presence of family. In this sense, my family far extends beyond my nuclear one; it encompasses anyone I meet who I do not see as separate from me.

After enjoying a delicious meal, my mom asked if I could help her with her pain in her back. I showed her some exercises on the floor that entailed using a foam roller. As she lay on the roller, she spoke about all of the struggles she endured the past year and about her anxiety regarding the future. I listened and told her it was OK and that she was fine and that her back would be much better just by talking about her fears. I also explained to her that the pain in her low back appeared to be associated with a tension in her shoulder. Trusting me, she began to relax the muscles in her neck and shoulder areas and took several deep breaths per my instructions. Then she stood up and I helped her stretch specific muscles in her back and shoulders.

Within a few minutes, her back pain lessened and her face looked less strained. It was an amazing moment: I, the daughter, and she, my mother, reversed traditional roles: I became the teacher and she, the student. We both learned the importance of reaching out to family and to being willing to admit we need help from one another. I am honored my mother asked me to help her and happy I could offer her some relief from the many burdens she chooses to shoulder. Family is being home and I am when I am with mine.

Regarding the photo, this is one of my mom's favorite pictures of me...I guess I will always be her little girl!